A couple of weeks ago, before moving to Singapore, a friend invited me over for lunch. It was during this time when some parts of Hyderabad were experiencing communal tension. Just to refresh your memory, it was the same time when Sania Mirza’s marriage was ‘breaking news’ on all the TV Channels. And considering that communal violence is commonplace in India, this bit was not all that ‘breaking’ for the news channels.
Post lunch, my friend dropped me at a place from where I took an auto for my journey back home. Call it destiny or something else; I got into an auto whose driver stayed in the old city-the part of the city which was impacted by the turbulence the most. He looked visibly disturbed. I happened to ask him the reason. I guess he wanted to vent out his frustration and helplessness to someone.
Incidentally, that someone was me. I hail from an infamous place-Ayodhya. Hence, I am not new to words like curfew and communal tension. But, in 1992 I was in class IVth. As a kid, all I cared about was that our schools used to shut down, quite often indefinitely, and we used to have a gala time at home. The reality that had not hit me then, hit me 18 years later.
The auto-driver told me that he could manage to take out his auto after 4 days when the police relaxed the curfew for a few hours. He and his family were surviving on his paltry savings for the initial two days and for the last two days his neighbours were helping him by offering some leftover food. But as the curfew intensified, even his neighbours started feeling the pinch. But for his children, he could have managed without food for some more days was what he said. He told me that he was happy to earn some money but on his way back he got delayed and missed the curfew deadline by 10 minutes. He was not allowed to go to his place. Even though he had toiled hard, he wasn’t sure if he could reach his family. Agony and frustration were rife in his voice.
We are all selfish and I think that is the core of human existence. That makes politicians and therefore the politics they practice selfish too. But, when our selfishness transcends all boundaries and everything boils down to vote bank politics, it takes draconian proportions and gets manifested in acts of communal violence, pro and anti reservation protests and not to miss our (in)famous ‘rail roko’ (stopping trains) or ‘chakka jam’ (road blockades) revolutions. It is neither you, who is reading this, nor me, who is writing this suffers. It is people like these auto drivers and their families who suffer. Till date, I have failed to understand how a ‘Hyderabad bandh’ will help the common man and make him want Telengana more. I have failed to understand how burning of trains, buses and other public property can bolster a cause when it is hampering the cause of the common man.
These were exactly the thoughts that crossed my mind while I was listening to him. These thoughts made me cringe then, they make me pensive now and I guess they will just lie in one remote corner of my mind after some time.
At the end of the trip, I tipped the guy 50 rupees. I do not support socialism and this act of mine should not be construed as one that supports it either. I wanted him to have hope because I guess he needed every bit of it that day. And I guess I did that sub-consciously, because I wanted to get over the guilt of being helpless in those circumstances.
Did someone say ,“All is well”?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Anything for Women Empowerment
There are few temptations that are irresistible. Since the entire country seems to be talking about women’s reservation bill, I couldn’t resist adding my 2 cents. First things first, let me say that I am happy that the women’s reservation bill got passed in the Rajya Sabha. There is a buzz everywhere and all the ‘breaking news’ on all the TV channels was that history was created. Though, I am not sure if that’s going to change things on the ground.
Probably I am naïve. Or, I could be a cynic. According to me the hullabaloo is not only premature; it is a result of ignorance. The reservation for women exists at the village level for more than 15 years now. However, I have not seen anything change significantly. Or, probably we all believe in incremental change or live with the hope that ‘the day is not far when…’. I still hear honour killings happening in parts of Haryana and Punjab. Eve teasing and rapes are endemic. What I fail to understand is how 200 women MPs can change the fate of half a billion people and make them empowered. And I fail to understand what is it that women chief ministers have done differently or significantly for the upliftment of women. And I, therefore, fail to see the causality between having more women in legislature and women upliftment.
Someone said-“Precaution is better than cure.” 62 years after independence, we have still not been able to think of preventive measures. What is most unfortunate is that there is still no uniform civil code. And the only way, it seems, that the politicians of this country can bring about reform in the civil society is through corrective measures like reservation.
Introducing corrective measures is still justified if the benefits pass on to the needy. I guess the governments over the years got tired of experimenting with the bottoms-up approach. Hence, this time they decided to follow the top-down approach. And now, I’m sure we’ll have a few more Mayawatis and Jayalalithas and Rabris and we’ll have a few more statues and parks built or someone else may hold the world record for owning the maximum number of slippers or someone may not only ruin the law and order of an entire state but the entire country. And who knows if we are unlucky and someone is really lucky, we may have all three ‘empowered scenarios’ being achieved by one person.
Anything for women empowerment…;-)
Probably I am naïve. Or, I could be a cynic. According to me the hullabaloo is not only premature; it is a result of ignorance. The reservation for women exists at the village level for more than 15 years now. However, I have not seen anything change significantly. Or, probably we all believe in incremental change or live with the hope that ‘the day is not far when…’. I still hear honour killings happening in parts of Haryana and Punjab. Eve teasing and rapes are endemic. What I fail to understand is how 200 women MPs can change the fate of half a billion people and make them empowered. And I fail to understand what is it that women chief ministers have done differently or significantly for the upliftment of women. And I, therefore, fail to see the causality between having more women in legislature and women upliftment.
Someone said-“Precaution is better than cure.” 62 years after independence, we have still not been able to think of preventive measures. What is most unfortunate is that there is still no uniform civil code. And the only way, it seems, that the politicians of this country can bring about reform in the civil society is through corrective measures like reservation.
Introducing corrective measures is still justified if the benefits pass on to the needy. I guess the governments over the years got tired of experimenting with the bottoms-up approach. Hence, this time they decided to follow the top-down approach. And now, I’m sure we’ll have a few more Mayawatis and Jayalalithas and Rabris and we’ll have a few more statues and parks built or someone else may hold the world record for owning the maximum number of slippers or someone may not only ruin the law and order of an entire state but the entire country. And who knows if we are unlucky and someone is really lucky, we may have all three ‘empowered scenarios’ being achieved by one person.
Anything for women empowerment…;-)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Rickshaw, the road side chai, the roasted peanuts and the cool breeze…
Some people have been saying, off-late, that I am becoming very philosophical these days. I guess ‘becoming philosophical’ is the most abused word in social parlance. I wonder why people say so. According to me, our existence will come to an end if we stop being philosophical. Being philosophical is nothing but a way of life. Phew! That was heavy.
Let me continue with this ‘way of life’.
The only thing that is constant is change. I think I was averse to change for quite some time. I guess it was sheer inertia, or, probably the lack of certain experiences that made me the way I am. I strongly feel that you cannot change your inherent nature. However, there can be a few tweaks to that inherent nature that can go a long way. And that is what I have been experiencing in the last 6 months or so. You, generally, need an incident or it may take more than one for you to realize that you have changed. I think everyone will agree with me that fog is a symbol of uncertainty. Well, not always. The fogginess of Jan 2010 helped me rediscover myself. Or, maybe, there is more to come.
I had to make a hurricane trip to my home town, Faizabad. It is a small district in South East Uttar Pradesh. My ideal itinerary has been a flight to Delhi followed by an overnight train journey to Faizabad. This time my flight to Delhi was delayed. CAT III or no CAT III, the compliance needed for flights to fly during low visibility conditions, all the airlines were impacted. Cutting the long story short, I reached Delhi at 6 PM, instead of the scheduled 3:10 PM. And I had my connecting train at 7:20 PM. Someone who is aware of Delhi traffic would have guessd by now that by no stretch of imagination I would have been able to catch the train from the (in) famous Old Delhi Railway Station in one hour and twenty minutes. And if it sometime close to Jan 26th when most of the roads are blocked for routine rehearsals or for some ‘standard’ security reasons, then the odds become all the more. My cab driver suggested that instead of going to Old Delhi Railway I should try and take a Metro from Dwarka. I agreed. I did not have too many choices either. The first change was this. I have started accepting things, at least some of them, that are beyond my control-unlike old times when I would have cribbed and swore incessantly.
There is nothing worse than slow death- when you know that you are running against time and you know that you are not gonna win.. It would have been better if my flight had landed after 7. I would have checked my watch a hundred times in that 60 minutes run from Dwarka to Chandni Chowk. And then you hope against hope that a miracle will save you. But then I think I mentioned in my previous blogs that Murphy is my second name ;-)
I called a close friend of mine, Neeraj, so that he could check if the train had left. It was already 20 mins past the departure time. Neeraj told me that the train was cancelled. It did not come as a surprise. Or, I guess the realist was taking over the optimist in me. But hold on-not yet. Looking back, I think I was lucky to even reach Delhi under the prevailing circumstances. Neeraj checked online and told me that there were flight tickets available to Lucknow for the next day.
Here comes the part that I found most pleasing and under the circumstances most surprising too. Neeraj stays in Rohini and there is no direct Metro connection from Chandni Chowk. I had to go Kashmiri Gate to take the train. And that meant that I had to take a rickshaw or an auto to Kashmiri gate. It was a bit cold. So, before leaving Chandni Chowk, I decided to have a cup of road side ‘chai’ (tea). There is something about these road side ‘delicacies’ that continues to remain unparalleled. I am not a tea/ coffee addict. So, these rare caffeine moments are truly relished by me.
I decided to go for a rickshaw. And I am glad that I did that. It’s fun to ride a rickshaw once in a while. I had not had roasted peanuts in sometime. So, I decided to take some peanuts before getting on to the rickshaw. The manual labour aside, it was a fun ride. There was a nip in the air. I was savoring the peanuts. I wasn’t sure where to dispose off the peelings. The immediate second thought was “What the fuck”. And Delhi roads became a bit dirtier that they already were. I know I am writing at the cost of drawing wrath from some of my closest friends. But, I guess it’s good to be savage at times.
You will definitely invite looks from the bystanders if you are even slightly out of place. I guess wearing a nice blazer and sitting on a rickshaw do not go hand in hand. And this was made every evident by almost everyone who saw me. The reason of those looks could be something else also-but I seriously doubt that. Again, being oblivious to such things is the mantra. We end up brooding about what the society will think…the list is endless. I think nobody gives a hoot and I think we should not give a damn either.
A simple road side chai on a cold winter morning, or the road side chaat in the evening, or an occasional beer with a close friend, or a long drive on a breezy evening, or reading a book over a cup of coffee, or the occasional rants of an idle mind in the blog, or the dhan-te-nan in a pub can make so much of a difference to our mundane lives.
I guess we look for that big happiness in life and in the process tend to miss out on those small pleasures. What we forget is that the total is the sum of its parts.
Let me continue with this ‘way of life’.
The only thing that is constant is change. I think I was averse to change for quite some time. I guess it was sheer inertia, or, probably the lack of certain experiences that made me the way I am. I strongly feel that you cannot change your inherent nature. However, there can be a few tweaks to that inherent nature that can go a long way. And that is what I have been experiencing in the last 6 months or so. You, generally, need an incident or it may take more than one for you to realize that you have changed. I think everyone will agree with me that fog is a symbol of uncertainty. Well, not always. The fogginess of Jan 2010 helped me rediscover myself. Or, maybe, there is more to come.
I had to make a hurricane trip to my home town, Faizabad. It is a small district in South East Uttar Pradesh. My ideal itinerary has been a flight to Delhi followed by an overnight train journey to Faizabad. This time my flight to Delhi was delayed. CAT III or no CAT III, the compliance needed for flights to fly during low visibility conditions, all the airlines were impacted. Cutting the long story short, I reached Delhi at 6 PM, instead of the scheduled 3:10 PM. And I had my connecting train at 7:20 PM. Someone who is aware of Delhi traffic would have guessd by now that by no stretch of imagination I would have been able to catch the train from the (in) famous Old Delhi Railway Station in one hour and twenty minutes. And if it sometime close to Jan 26th when most of the roads are blocked for routine rehearsals or for some ‘standard’ security reasons, then the odds become all the more. My cab driver suggested that instead of going to Old Delhi Railway I should try and take a Metro from Dwarka. I agreed. I did not have too many choices either. The first change was this. I have started accepting things, at least some of them, that are beyond my control-unlike old times when I would have cribbed and swore incessantly.
There is nothing worse than slow death- when you know that you are running against time and you know that you are not gonna win.. It would have been better if my flight had landed after 7. I would have checked my watch a hundred times in that 60 minutes run from Dwarka to Chandni Chowk. And then you hope against hope that a miracle will save you. But then I think I mentioned in my previous blogs that Murphy is my second name ;-)
I called a close friend of mine, Neeraj, so that he could check if the train had left. It was already 20 mins past the departure time. Neeraj told me that the train was cancelled. It did not come as a surprise. Or, I guess the realist was taking over the optimist in me. But hold on-not yet. Looking back, I think I was lucky to even reach Delhi under the prevailing circumstances. Neeraj checked online and told me that there were flight tickets available to Lucknow for the next day.
Here comes the part that I found most pleasing and under the circumstances most surprising too. Neeraj stays in Rohini and there is no direct Metro connection from Chandni Chowk. I had to go Kashmiri Gate to take the train. And that meant that I had to take a rickshaw or an auto to Kashmiri gate. It was a bit cold. So, before leaving Chandni Chowk, I decided to have a cup of road side ‘chai’ (tea). There is something about these road side ‘delicacies’ that continues to remain unparalleled. I am not a tea/ coffee addict. So, these rare caffeine moments are truly relished by me.
I decided to go for a rickshaw. And I am glad that I did that. It’s fun to ride a rickshaw once in a while. I had not had roasted peanuts in sometime. So, I decided to take some peanuts before getting on to the rickshaw. The manual labour aside, it was a fun ride. There was a nip in the air. I was savoring the peanuts. I wasn’t sure where to dispose off the peelings. The immediate second thought was “What the fuck”. And Delhi roads became a bit dirtier that they already were. I know I am writing at the cost of drawing wrath from some of my closest friends. But, I guess it’s good to be savage at times.
You will definitely invite looks from the bystanders if you are even slightly out of place. I guess wearing a nice blazer and sitting on a rickshaw do not go hand in hand. And this was made every evident by almost everyone who saw me. The reason of those looks could be something else also-but I seriously doubt that. Again, being oblivious to such things is the mantra. We end up brooding about what the society will think…the list is endless. I think nobody gives a hoot and I think we should not give a damn either.
A simple road side chai on a cold winter morning, or the road side chaat in the evening, or an occasional beer with a close friend, or a long drive on a breezy evening, or reading a book over a cup of coffee, or the occasional rants of an idle mind in the blog, or the dhan-te-nan in a pub can make so much of a difference to our mundane lives.
I guess we look for that big happiness in life and in the process tend to miss out on those small pleasures. What we forget is that the total is the sum of its parts.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Kite Flying leading to mental chumming
It was the day of Makar Sankranti. It is the harvest festival for South India. Honestly, I do know much about it beyond that. As a kid, Makar Sankranti was all about flying kites. One of my office friends, Vikram, invited us to his place for dine, wine and kite flying. 5 of us turned up. The weather was ideal for kite flying. A gentle and cool breeze, overcast conditions without any rain, loud peppy music on the roof top and Vikram and his family’s hospitality-could not have asked for more.
I do not remember when it was the last time I flew a kite. But, I do remember that it was never a lavish affair. The spool that I had as a kid (almost 15 years ago) was a result of many investments that I made with my pocket money back then. I remember the ‘manjha’-the thread that is used in front and used for cutting others’ kite, used to be bought for Rs.1 or 2. Unlike old days, Satish Anna (another colleague) and Vikram had made elaborate arrangements this time. Initially, I was not sure whether I should fly any kites. But, Satish Anna’s enthusiasm rubbed on to all of us. Though he was kept busy by his cute little 3 year-old daughter, Aarushi, and he could not take many turns at professional kite flying.
By the way, it was interesting for me to notice that even the manjha was ‘Made in China’. Dragonization I say. :-)
While we were busy flying kites, Niranjan, another friend, made an observation. He does not know how to fly a kite. He was busy doing what he enjoys most-sip his beer. I guess beer does this to you. You start mentally chumming and you tend to see the obvious, which otherwise had been overlooked or ignored for being so obvious. We started talking about society in India. And how some of the social norms get manifested in the way we fly kites. In India, kite flying is all about cutting others’ kites and ensuring that your kite is the only one that’s up there.
I do not know whether this emanates from the feudal culture of the society which is still seen in many parts of the country. Or, the spirit of competition is so ingrained in us that we can’t enjoy a simple fun activity by not being competitive. Or, is it the result of being highly territorial-trying to create a space for you among a billion others. Or, we simply derive pleasure from jeering at others. And what is most interesting is that even if you want to fly your kite ‘peacefully’, you will not be allowed to do so. It is really a jungle out there. We have to prove to ourselves and to others that we are omnipotent.
Of course there is a counter argument to this thought. People may feel otherwise-where there is no competition there is no fun. I think otherwise. There are still few things that can be done without any competition. It’s like playing a musical instrument where you often do not compete with others in a professional capacity. You just do it for unadulterated fun and at times for your peace.
I know that these are things that you learn in your childhood. They are strongly ingrained in all of us. How much ever we grow, after all, “Dil to Bacha Hai Jhi”
Whatever it is, it did make Niranjan and me think.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Stranger on the plane
Sometimes, no matter how much you wish, you never strike gold and sometimes, very rarely though, lady luck showers her blessings generously on you. Some of you would be thinking that I am going to talk about some other film star whom I happened to bump into. Well, not so lucky but not bad either.
I was flying from Singapore to New Delhi and further on my way to home. I was excited ‘coz one, I was away travelling on business for almost 6 weeks and two, I was visiting home and was also looking forward to attend one of my best friend’s wedding. I was allocated 48H (an aisle seat) and this lady was sitting on 47H-another aisle seat. Well, can’t help but remember the details. :) I thought even today I was not lucky enough to have some nice company for the next 6 hours. But this time, when the opportunity came, I grabbed it. ;-)
There was a couple which was allocated separate seats-one in the 48th row and one in the 47th row. Of course, they wanted to sit together so, they requested me if I could move to the middle seat in the 47th row-next to the lady. My first reaction was NO. I always prefer aisle seats in a flight, particularly long flights because it is easy for me to walk around and visit the rest rooms if required. But, then I gave it a second thought and I am glad that I did so. I agreed and decided to shift.
The initial exchange was- “Excuse me” and she was prompt to get up and let me settle down in my seat. I saw her reading a book. And so, I also decided to open mine, “New Paradigm for Financial Markets”. After 5 minutes, she happened to ask, “Is the book that you are reading interesting?” Honestly, for a split second I was not sure if it was the woman sitting next to me who was asking that question. I, like a seasoned reader replied, “It is too early to comment. However, the book is a unique amalgamation of philosophy and financial markets”. She appeared interested or at least so I would love to believe and the next 2-3 minutes went in discussing about the book.
I told her that I had always been curious about reading about the recent financial crisis and that was the reason why I picked this up. However, I accepted that I was a Human Resources guy and have limited knowledge of finance. There is an automatic interest created the moment I tell someone that I work at Google. I am not blowing my own trumpet here but, it is a fact. This, in most cases, wins some talking points further. So, we discussed about my work at Google and I told her that I was an HR Analyst. By this time I thought it was time to introduce myself and we shook hands.
Let me call her N.
The next thing she told me was that she was afraid of flying. I happened to remember that movie, where the actresses go crazy in the flight and she quickly chipped in that there was nothing to worry about. There would not be any drama. I must say that throughout the flight there were few things that were really odd about her, like just staring at the flight path and the map, but I must say that she did a fairly good job of not showing her uneasiness and she remained poised throughout the flight. In fact, if she had not confided in me, there was no way I could have sensed it. However, I would have definitely found someone just staring at the flight path during a six-hour long flight really strange.
She told me that she worked in a bank. For a moment I wondered why she did not share that piece of detail earlier. But one thing good was that she did not make me uncomfortable with her knowledge of finance by throwing jargon at me. Not sure if she was really interested in knowing about what I was reading or, she was too scared of flying and whatever I was saying was falling on deaf years. However, after the initial discussion on the subject of financial markets, we did not broach the subject later. There were more interesting areas to explore. ;-)
For the first 45 minutes or so, we discussed about our interests. She told me that she loved travelling and then added herself that I would find it strange ‘coz she was afraid of flying. I shared some of my experiences from the Leh trip and she talked about her holidaying in Paris with her husband. By this time, the flight attendants had started serving. I suggested that she have some wine just to cool down her nerves. She narrated an interesting incident to me.
She was flying within Europe. She had purchased a couple of wine bottles thinking that the airport security would allow them as part of the cabin baggage. They allowed only one. Well, our wine connoisseur did not waste any of it. She drank three-fourths of the bottle leaving only one-fourth to her husband. Her husband and she were allotted different seats. She was assigned a seat next to an old lady who did not understand English. If the wine had just cooled down her nerves, it would have been ok. It just went a step ahead. She dropped all her inhibitions and scared the shit out of the old lady by behaving weirdly. So much so that the old lady had to request for a change of seats.
I am glad that she did not drink any wine. :) All that she had was a couple of glasses of Diet Coke!
I could not help making fun of her being scared of flying. I know I am insensitive at times. Though, it was all meant in good humor. She, I guess behaved in a civilized manner for some time. And then she said-“You are a jerk”. This statement and adjective was used many a times during the remainder of the flight. There was one moment where I guess I annoyed her and she said “stop fingering me”. I could not help it. I started laughing. She said she meant it “literally”. She wanted to say “figuratively”. That slip of tongue made me laugh even more. And then the statement, “You are a jerk” was repeated many times.
We were chatting and she was describing to me the kind of person that she was. She said she was a minimalistic person. I was surprised. I happen to be a keen observer. When I heard her say that she was a minimalistic person, I said it didn’t appear like that as she was wearing solitaires in her ears. I guess I was honed in being more observant to what women wear when I was in TISS. My foundation was strong and I was groomed well. She said that she was impressed. I happened to ask her the brand of the clothes and the watch that she was wearing. Incidentally, all those items were from big designer houses. That just went on to prove how ‘minimalistic’ she was. By the end of this, she was looking for the right adjective to describe her.
We discussed a bit about our respective families and friends and it so happened that she too like me enjoyed the company of friends and family. She told me that she was a happy go lucky person. And she accepted what life had to offer to her. She, to my surprise had an arranged marriage. I was surprised because I have not known too many people from B-Schools these days having arranged marriages. We discussed about some crests and troughs in life and about our respective break-ups-in her case before her marriage. I told her that I had a break up recently and then she started telling me about her own story. I shared some of the parameters that I was looking for in a girl. She shared with me how priorities change after marriage. She gave me the example of how she had to leave her job where she was doing really well and she had to relocate. There was one thing that she said that caught my attention. And I subscribe to the line of thought. She said that as long as two people are ready to make a marriage work, they will make it work. It might sound simple, but sometimes, we tend to miss the most obvious and simple things in life.
We also talked about some of our basic instincts. I must say that she maintained her poise throughout the conversation where some women could have been uncomfortable. Though, she did ask me if I was always so direct in my dealings with people, especially women. My reply was in affirmative. I told her that I have come across people who appreciate it and there are a few with which this approach bombs.
I still wonder how two total strangers could be so comfortable with each other. Or, I guess that is what you call life. You keep wondering and then you wonder some more. I may not even meet her in the future. I do not even know what she thought of me. For all you know, I could have been a real jerk. But for me, I did not have the fear of being judged. I guess, it’s important to let off your guard once in a while. And now when I look back, I am glad I did it.
I was flying from Singapore to New Delhi and further on my way to home. I was excited ‘coz one, I was away travelling on business for almost 6 weeks and two, I was visiting home and was also looking forward to attend one of my best friend’s wedding. I was allocated 48H (an aisle seat) and this lady was sitting on 47H-another aisle seat. Well, can’t help but remember the details. :) I thought even today I was not lucky enough to have some nice company for the next 6 hours. But this time, when the opportunity came, I grabbed it. ;-)
There was a couple which was allocated separate seats-one in the 48th row and one in the 47th row. Of course, they wanted to sit together so, they requested me if I could move to the middle seat in the 47th row-next to the lady. My first reaction was NO. I always prefer aisle seats in a flight, particularly long flights because it is easy for me to walk around and visit the rest rooms if required. But, then I gave it a second thought and I am glad that I did so. I agreed and decided to shift.
The initial exchange was- “Excuse me” and she was prompt to get up and let me settle down in my seat. I saw her reading a book. And so, I also decided to open mine, “New Paradigm for Financial Markets”. After 5 minutes, she happened to ask, “Is the book that you are reading interesting?” Honestly, for a split second I was not sure if it was the woman sitting next to me who was asking that question. I, like a seasoned reader replied, “It is too early to comment. However, the book is a unique amalgamation of philosophy and financial markets”. She appeared interested or at least so I would love to believe and the next 2-3 minutes went in discussing about the book.
I told her that I had always been curious about reading about the recent financial crisis and that was the reason why I picked this up. However, I accepted that I was a Human Resources guy and have limited knowledge of finance. There is an automatic interest created the moment I tell someone that I work at Google. I am not blowing my own trumpet here but, it is a fact. This, in most cases, wins some talking points further. So, we discussed about my work at Google and I told her that I was an HR Analyst. By this time I thought it was time to introduce myself and we shook hands.
Let me call her N.
The next thing she told me was that she was afraid of flying. I happened to remember that movie, where the actresses go crazy in the flight and she quickly chipped in that there was nothing to worry about. There would not be any drama. I must say that throughout the flight there were few things that were really odd about her, like just staring at the flight path and the map, but I must say that she did a fairly good job of not showing her uneasiness and she remained poised throughout the flight. In fact, if she had not confided in me, there was no way I could have sensed it. However, I would have definitely found someone just staring at the flight path during a six-hour long flight really strange.
She told me that she worked in a bank. For a moment I wondered why she did not share that piece of detail earlier. But one thing good was that she did not make me uncomfortable with her knowledge of finance by throwing jargon at me. Not sure if she was really interested in knowing about what I was reading or, she was too scared of flying and whatever I was saying was falling on deaf years. However, after the initial discussion on the subject of financial markets, we did not broach the subject later. There were more interesting areas to explore. ;-)
For the first 45 minutes or so, we discussed about our interests. She told me that she loved travelling and then added herself that I would find it strange ‘coz she was afraid of flying. I shared some of my experiences from the Leh trip and she talked about her holidaying in Paris with her husband. By this time, the flight attendants had started serving. I suggested that she have some wine just to cool down her nerves. She narrated an interesting incident to me.
She was flying within Europe. She had purchased a couple of wine bottles thinking that the airport security would allow them as part of the cabin baggage. They allowed only one. Well, our wine connoisseur did not waste any of it. She drank three-fourths of the bottle leaving only one-fourth to her husband. Her husband and she were allotted different seats. She was assigned a seat next to an old lady who did not understand English. If the wine had just cooled down her nerves, it would have been ok. It just went a step ahead. She dropped all her inhibitions and scared the shit out of the old lady by behaving weirdly. So much so that the old lady had to request for a change of seats.
I am glad that she did not drink any wine. :) All that she had was a couple of glasses of Diet Coke!
I could not help making fun of her being scared of flying. I know I am insensitive at times. Though, it was all meant in good humor. She, I guess behaved in a civilized manner for some time. And then she said-“You are a jerk”. This statement and adjective was used many a times during the remainder of the flight. There was one moment where I guess I annoyed her and she said “stop fingering me”. I could not help it. I started laughing. She said she meant it “literally”. She wanted to say “figuratively”. That slip of tongue made me laugh even more. And then the statement, “You are a jerk” was repeated many times.
We were chatting and she was describing to me the kind of person that she was. She said she was a minimalistic person. I was surprised. I happen to be a keen observer. When I heard her say that she was a minimalistic person, I said it didn’t appear like that as she was wearing solitaires in her ears. I guess I was honed in being more observant to what women wear when I was in TISS. My foundation was strong and I was groomed well. She said that she was impressed. I happened to ask her the brand of the clothes and the watch that she was wearing. Incidentally, all those items were from big designer houses. That just went on to prove how ‘minimalistic’ she was. By the end of this, she was looking for the right adjective to describe her.
We discussed a bit about our respective families and friends and it so happened that she too like me enjoyed the company of friends and family. She told me that she was a happy go lucky person. And she accepted what life had to offer to her. She, to my surprise had an arranged marriage. I was surprised because I have not known too many people from B-Schools these days having arranged marriages. We discussed about some crests and troughs in life and about our respective break-ups-in her case before her marriage. I told her that I had a break up recently and then she started telling me about her own story. I shared some of the parameters that I was looking for in a girl. She shared with me how priorities change after marriage. She gave me the example of how she had to leave her job where she was doing really well and she had to relocate. There was one thing that she said that caught my attention. And I subscribe to the line of thought. She said that as long as two people are ready to make a marriage work, they will make it work. It might sound simple, but sometimes, we tend to miss the most obvious and simple things in life.
We also talked about some of our basic instincts. I must say that she maintained her poise throughout the conversation where some women could have been uncomfortable. Though, she did ask me if I was always so direct in my dealings with people, especially women. My reply was in affirmative. I told her that I have come across people who appreciate it and there are a few with which this approach bombs.
I still wonder how two total strangers could be so comfortable with each other. Or, I guess that is what you call life. You keep wondering and then you wonder some more. I may not even meet her in the future. I do not even know what she thought of me. For all you know, I could have been a real jerk. But for me, I did not have the fear of being judged. I guess, it’s important to let off your guard once in a while. And now when I look back, I am glad I did it.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Robin Hood in the making!
How often have you tried your luck at archery? I guess apart from those few instances during our childhood of getting a make shift bow with a jute string and some arrows made of thick straw during Indian festivals like Dussera, I am sure you would not have had a chance to play Robin hood. I was lucky. Though, I could only manage to get a bow and a few arrows from the otherwise long list of paraphernalia that Hood otherwise carries.
I utilize my business trips to the US to the fullest. If last time it was skiing, this time it was archery. We, I and two of my colleagues, decided to go to the Golden Gate Park, San Francisco on one Saturday when I was in California. The day was breezy and there was a nip in the air. Honestly, I was not sure what to expect. Having said that, I am glad I went for it.
One of my colleagues had tried his hand at archery before. He was the one who recommended that we go for it. We were supposed to reach the park at 3:30 in the afternoon…but we got delayed and by the time we reached, dusk had set in. However, the moment we saw the lush green field, some 7-8 targets and some 15-20 people with their bows and arrows doing archery, we got really excited.
Our coach, a soft spoken, methodical and knowledgeable chap, scientifically explained the dos and the don’ts of archery, the position of the quiver, the placement of the arrow on the bow, the stretch of the string, the stance and the final release. He was observant and thorough to the extent that he noticed my slouchy posture and asked me to correct it.
We had a common target and we were placed a couple of meters from each other, forming a small arc. After 10-15 mins of briefing, he left us to be on our own and the next 45 mins were nothing short of thrilling. Each one of us took aim at the target by turn and at the end of 6 rounds, we used to measure the points. We played three rounds and my colleague, who was visiting from the UK was clearly the one who stood out amongst us. He was very consistent with his scoring pattern too. However, it was the third and final round where I showed promising signs too and in one case almost hit the bull’s eye, which is worth 10 points. (The narcissist in me could not help but write about this :))
I am sure Hood himself would have been proud of us if he had seen our efforts. The 25 dollars were well spent.
I utilize my business trips to the US to the fullest. If last time it was skiing, this time it was archery. We, I and two of my colleagues, decided to go to the Golden Gate Park, San Francisco on one Saturday when I was in California. The day was breezy and there was a nip in the air. Honestly, I was not sure what to expect. Having said that, I am glad I went for it.
One of my colleagues had tried his hand at archery before. He was the one who recommended that we go for it. We were supposed to reach the park at 3:30 in the afternoon…but we got delayed and by the time we reached, dusk had set in. However, the moment we saw the lush green field, some 7-8 targets and some 15-20 people with their bows and arrows doing archery, we got really excited.
Our coach, a soft spoken, methodical and knowledgeable chap, scientifically explained the dos and the don’ts of archery, the position of the quiver, the placement of the arrow on the bow, the stretch of the string, the stance and the final release. He was observant and thorough to the extent that he noticed my slouchy posture and asked me to correct it.
We had a common target and we were placed a couple of meters from each other, forming a small arc. After 10-15 mins of briefing, he left us to be on our own and the next 45 mins were nothing short of thrilling. Each one of us took aim at the target by turn and at the end of 6 rounds, we used to measure the points. We played three rounds and my colleague, who was visiting from the UK was clearly the one who stood out amongst us. He was very consistent with his scoring pattern too. However, it was the third and final round where I showed promising signs too and in one case almost hit the bull’s eye, which is worth 10 points. (The narcissist in me could not help but write about this :))
I am sure Hood himself would have been proud of us if he had seen our efforts. The 25 dollars were well spent.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Consumer forums for Hopeless Movie-Making
My weekend started a bit early. I, with some of my colleagues, went to watch the movie “Dil Bole Hadippa”. Though I wasn’t expecting much from the movie anyway, half an hour into the movie and I realized that it was a criminal waste of time. Since it was a team outing, we decided to watch the movie till the end; also hoping that hopefully the movie would gain some steam only to realize later that we were flogging a dead horse.
I would say that I frequent the theatres. However, for some people coming to a theater becomes very difficult. For example, a senior colleague, who has a three-year old daughter came to the theater after a couple of months only to watch this idiotic portrayal of stereotypes-cricket and of course Sachin Tendulkar, a separated couple (which is not divorced and the constituents still feel and care for each other) that reunites in the end, India-Pakistan, Punjab and London (Bollywood knows only these two places) discrimination of women, and to top it all the pedagogic speech by the protagonist at the end of the movie. Mind you, all it takes for the separated couple is a win in a cricket match. And how could I forget the hero who, in spite of staying in London has all the Indian values, falls for a ‘gaon ki gori’.
While watching the movie, I was hoping that there should be a consumer forum for consumers like us to sue the makers of a film like this-who take the consumers for granted and abuse such an effective medium of entertainment. After all, a movie is a product and we are the consumers. I know it may be impossible for us to have guidelines for differentiating a good movie from a bad one. Nonetheless, we need to find ways by which idiocy and stereotypical portrayal do not become the virtue of film making ‘coz the box office verdict no longer seems to be a deterrent.
I would say that I frequent the theatres. However, for some people coming to a theater becomes very difficult. For example, a senior colleague, who has a three-year old daughter came to the theater after a couple of months only to watch this idiotic portrayal of stereotypes-cricket and of course Sachin Tendulkar, a separated couple (which is not divorced and the constituents still feel and care for each other) that reunites in the end, India-Pakistan, Punjab and London (Bollywood knows only these two places) discrimination of women, and to top it all the pedagogic speech by the protagonist at the end of the movie. Mind you, all it takes for the separated couple is a win in a cricket match. And how could I forget the hero who, in spite of staying in London has all the Indian values, falls for a ‘gaon ki gori’.
While watching the movie, I was hoping that there should be a consumer forum for consumers like us to sue the makers of a film like this-who take the consumers for granted and abuse such an effective medium of entertainment. After all, a movie is a product and we are the consumers. I know it may be impossible for us to have guidelines for differentiating a good movie from a bad one. Nonetheless, we need to find ways by which idiocy and stereotypical portrayal do not become the virtue of film making ‘coz the box office verdict no longer seems to be a deterrent.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)