Disclaimer- For the record, this write-up is non- family safe. Reader discretion advised.
The first thing that we often ask a person before moving ahead with chatting online is “Are you busy?” This courtesy becomes all the more important if the chatting is happening in a professional set up. If there’s a typo, “busy” could become “busty” as the letter “T” is just before “Y” on the keyboard. So, the courteous statement will metamorphose into an outrageous question and will read like this- “Are you busty?” If the person at the other end is a woman, under normal circumstances, I would lose my dignity by asking such a question. In addition to this, she would also question my ability to comprehend and my understanding of the female anatomy. Either ways I am screwed. My situation would have become even worse if the person at the other end is a man. In addition to losing my dignity, such a typo would have put my entire orientation at stake.
Let me not get into the Freudian slip bit here. Trust me, when I say that with “I” and “U” being next to each other does not help my cause. On one occasion, I wanted to ask my colleague- “How long is your list of people”. I ended up typing, “How long is you lust for people?” Again, how stupid of me to try to quantify something that is unquantifiable. ;-) Two, it can’t be more inappropriate of me to ask such a personal question.
Then it was my turn to be “busy”. So, when I received a ping, I simply wanted to say “gimme a sec”. Instead, I ended up typing, “gimme a sex”. With “C” and “X” next to each other…argh!!! What was I thinking for heaven’s sake?
It does not end here. At least in each of the above cases, I read my pings and corrected what could have otherwise been a career limiting faux pas. In a personal correspondence, I wrote to someone, “I ran some errands and also got me some MILF”. Of course, I wanted to say, “I ran some errands and got myself some MILK”. I don’t even have the excuse of saying that the letter “F” appears next to the letter “K” on the keyboard. It indeed led to some impression formation. :(
I never knew that even untimely “spaces” can lead to a simple phrase having a sexual reference. Consider this simple question-“What about it?” Now consider this-“What abou tit?” The second question may not have a specific meaning. But, it certainly has a derogatory sexual reference. :(
I am sure Christopher Sholes, who invented the QWERTY keyboard, would have committed suicide if he had seen how potentially hazardous his invention could be. These incidents have made me extra careful when I type. I purposely wanted this write up to turn out the way it did. By now you would have realized the importance of proof reading what you type during any digital text exchange –be it email, chat or, SMS. Happy typing! :)
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
An Ode to Europe- with Vijay and Vineet
SINGAPORE to AMSTERDAM (3rd Dec)
When I reached the airport and saw the passenger queue
All I could muster was a “phew”.
The meandering line knew no end
People glared if you missed a bend.
I was the fourth last to board that flight
It was a close call in hindsight.
My flight was uneventful- nothing new
I slept and ate well; there was nothing else to do.
AMSTERDAM AIRPORT (4th Dec morning)
Reached Amsterdam at 6:30 in the morning
It was the beginning of the trip that I had been longing
Cleared immigration and waited for my luggage
More…some more and there was no sign of my baggage.
“Mr. Rajkumar?” asked a service attendant,
“I am” I said, with smile abundant.
My smile didn’t last long, when I was told
That my bag didn’t arrive in that freezing cold.
I came up with the obvious exclamation
And she came up with a ‘comforting’ explanation.
“What next?”, I enquired almost panicking
I didn’t have much winter clothing.
“60 Euros” was her reply,
“You must be kidding me” came out almost as a cry.
After some logical arguments she realized,
That I couldn’t get much with clothing highly priced.
200 Euros was what we settled for
To not turn into an icicle before returning to Singapore.
Dressed in pajamas, slippers and a t-shirt- I was a sight
Wading through the icy burst required some might.
Got myself a pair of jeans, shoes and a sweater
It did make me warm in that freezing weather.
And I couldn’t reach Vineet (who was flying in from London)
Didn’t know how and where to meet.
Vijay’s flight (from Barcelona) got cancelled, I found
My worst fears began to hound.
Called Vijay and got an update
A flash strike had happened, oh come on mate.
This wasn’t the perfect beginning, I thought
Was this a conspiracy or some kinda plot?
After roaming for some more time in sorrow
Spotted Vineet at a telephone booth, and we hugged as if there were no tomorrow.
AMSTERDAM (4th Dec)
It started snowing heavily, but our spirits didn’t sag
After all, we are not yet an old hag. :-)
Our first stop was the Anne Frank House
Sadness is the feeling this saga will arouse.
The story of a Jewish family in the Nazi days
As it lived through fear and haze.
Then we went to the famous Van Gogh
We gazed at his creations in awe.
He died young; his art knew no end.
With more than 900 paintings, he is a legend.
After some aimless wandering, we called it a day
This place would have been even more beautiful, if it had been May.
AMSTERDAM (5th Dec)
Got two pieces of good news the next morning,
My bag had arrived and Vijay was coming.
The weather improved as it was a nice beginning
The sun came out, warm and beaming.
Some Dutch cuisine for brunch was what we wanted
So, we found and went to this place but found it deserted.
To our utter dismay
Closed was the local market since it was Sunday.
We settled for an Italian lunch instead
Comprising of delectable lasagnea, salad and bread.
We then went on a ferry cruise
The city looked beautiful in the evening hues.
I was pleasantly surprised to see
How evolved the inland waterways were in the city.
As evening descended, we chose our next spot
It was the museum of sex and we had to stop.
It uncovered the world of sexual mystery
Surprisingly, it had a lot of history.
Sculptures, photos, and mannequins abound
We laughed at a few as we moved around.
It was unique in its own way
We came out more educated, I must say ;-)
Post dinner, we went to a place that sold pot
While in Sin City, we had to give it a shot.
We were novices and had never rolled a joint
But who cared, and that was the best point.
In the next one hour we puffed and laughed,
And disowned each other when we coughed.
It was time to venture deep
The red light district was worth taking a peep.
With men and women both thronging the place
Your wildest fantasies are set ablaze.
BERLIN (6th Dec)
While Amsterdam was relaxed and easy going
Berlin was certainly more fast moving.
The city had been the lynchpin
Of modern history and the times we are in.
The monuments (Reichstag, Holocaust-Denkmal, Brandenburger Tor) are indeed a sight
Some witnesses of the Nazi power, some of the Jew plight.
The Checkpoint Museum Charlie and the Berlin Wall remains
Tell the story of the cold war and its pains.
Later we went to the Sony Center,
It’s very modern with its swanky architecture.
In that freezing cold we were having a good time
The day had to be ended with some German wine.
So, for dinner, we found a place that offered German food
A cozy small house setting, it suited our mood.
BERLIN (7th Dec)
To experience world cultures at a single site
Pergamon museum was the obvious choice.
I found myself wanting in more ways than one
To appreciate what it offered, the experience was so wholesome.
We saw the beautiful Roman and Greek sculptures
And, peeked into Egyptian and Mesopotamian cultures.
There was little time and so much to see
Rushing through this museum would be a pity.
Paris (Evening of 7th Dec)
Paris was more a transit point than a destination
In our choc-o-block itinerary though, it had to find a mention.
As Vijay and I headed for Paris, Vineet left for London
He could not join us in the land of Moet and Chandon.
By the time we reached the hotel, it was ten thirty
We set out to check out the Eiffel Tower’s beauty.
It was drizzling and it was nippy
So what- we were determined and gritty.
I had never imagined that iron and steel
Could be so raw, so naked and yet so preen.
Every iota of effort was worth it
To see the towering structure glitteringly lit.
Paris (8th Dec)
We visited the famous Pantheon first
It’s a beauty to satiate your spiritual thirst.
Our next stop was The Louvre- an unparalleled artistic abode
Though, we weren’t there to solve the Da Vinci code. ;-)
The museum is huge
It experiences people’s deluge.
I had not seen such a huge art collection before
The audio guide came to our rescue as we assimilated some more.
We saw the biggest wall painting that had been made
The famous Mona Lisa was there, and a tribute we paid.
On a different note, I can’t help but mention
French women are worth all the attention.
Those lovely ladies, if they smilingly greet,
Your heart is bound to skip a beat.
A couple of hours flew by as it was time for us to leave
When we checked the ticket, I found that it was not from Orly but Beauvais.
How could I miss such an important detail?
I guess I was too excited or, my memory had gone frail.
Beauvais was way outside the city
Neither did we get a bus, nor a taxi.
Called Vineet to find out other options for a flight
There was one from Orly, later that night.
The city seemed to have come to a standstill,
And Paris was not all that exciting in that December chill.
After a long wait we found a cab- eventually
Our driver waded through the inching traffic skillfully.
I had seldom seen Vijay sweat and fret
Guess this was one such occasion, you bet.
Finally, we reached Paris Orly
Though, our happiness lasted only momentarily.
We soon found out that our new flight was canceled
And our hopes to reach Barcelona that day fizzled.
We got our tickets for next day’s evening flight
Could anyone have expected this plight?
We decided to put this episode behind us
But, there was no way to go to the city in a train, cab or bus.
Hotels near the airport were prohibitively expensive
And all we had was the airport to live.
Slept or, rather barely slept that night
The ordeal’s end seemed nowhere in sight.
Paris (9th Dec)
The next morning was sunny and bright
We had time for some more sightseeing as we had an evening flight.
Found a locker for our luggage and so we dumped
Last evening was over and we were pumped.
The Cathedral of Notre Dame, next to river Siene, was the first place we went
Though thronged by many, it was serene and quaint.
The department of justice was what was next
We did not know what to see there and soon we left. :-)
The Conciergerie was next in line
A palace and a prison, it had stood for a long time.
Our lunch at a French café was a delight
It was perfect to relax and enjoy the sunlight.
Not wanting to take a chance and so we started early
For our flight from Paris Orly.
Thanked God for no more surprises this time
Else, I surely would’ve blown the top of mine
By the time we reached Barcelona, we needed some rest,
Though, Vijay got busy with the preparation for his test.
Barcelona (10th Dec)
Barcelona weather was a respite from the icy cold
The city was more refreshing compared to what I was told.
While Vijay’s coursework kept him busy,
The land of Gaudi and Picasso waited for me.
Picasso museum was what I first visited
Times that he lived in, were what his paintings reflected.
The genius of the man stood tall,
From canvas to ceramic, he experimented it all.
Antoni Gaudi is unarguably the most famous Spanish architect
The Sagrada Familia is a testament to why he is the best.
Each carving in that church showed his finesse and precision
Revolutionary for his times were his ideas and vision.
The streets of Barcelona have a very different feel
People are warm, relaxed and genteel.
In the evening I visited Park Guell
It’s yet another Gaudi marvel.
Oldies, youngsters and children one can see
The beautiful ocean at a distance and the glittering city.
Barcelona (11th Dec)
The next morning I took the cable car to visit the famous Montjuic fort
A witness to changing times, as it oversaw the port.
It had canons all over and one could easily gauge
That it protected the city from the enemy’s rage.
I went for a stroll- in and around
It was serene and there was silence abound.
The woods in the vicinity had many birds
The silence only broken by their occasional chirps.
Not far from the fort was the Museum of Art
Didn’t enter- just sat outside and enjoyed as it turned dark.
Vijay was done with his assignments so he also stepped out
His spirits were high, in spite of lack of sleep, without any doubt.
The street of Les Rambles had a carnival like feel
One can spend an entire night there; it would be no big deal.
We tried out some Tapas which turned out to be mouth-watering
It marked the perfect beginning to the evening.
While in Barcelona, I could not have missed the Flamenco
The performance was mesmerizing as it gained some tempo.
Everyone in the room had their eyes glued
As the artists’ hands clapped and their feet moved.
Freak out was the mantra that night, any excuse would have been lame,
If we had given in to our tiredness and slept, it would have been a shame.
The idea was not to be in a state of inebriety
But we had to go to Espit Chupitos for its shots and their variety (580 in number).
Each shot was unique- flaming or non-flaming
We started discussing business ideas (ha ha) as we started consuming.
I guess we had 4 each, honestly I lost count.
Each shot was fun; the bartender’s skills were paramount.
There was a slight buzz as we stepped out
The night was still young; there was a lot of crowd.
Without a discotheque, the experience would have been incomplete,
It was our last stop that evening and fun had been replete.
Return to Singapore (12th Dec)
I pined for more as I hadn’t experienced anything like this before
But, it was time for me to return to Singapore.
It felt like a hurricane dream where we experienced so much
I promised I’d visit Europe soon, its beauty was such.
Glad you made it to the end of this Mohithon
I guess I could have just gone on and on and on. :-)
When I reached the airport and saw the passenger queue
All I could muster was a “phew”.
The meandering line knew no end
People glared if you missed a bend.
I was the fourth last to board that flight
It was a close call in hindsight.
My flight was uneventful- nothing new
I slept and ate well; there was nothing else to do.
AMSTERDAM AIRPORT (4th Dec morning)
Reached Amsterdam at 6:30 in the morning
It was the beginning of the trip that I had been longing
Cleared immigration and waited for my luggage
More…some more and there was no sign of my baggage.
“Mr. Rajkumar?” asked a service attendant,
“I am” I said, with smile abundant.
My smile didn’t last long, when I was told
That my bag didn’t arrive in that freezing cold.
I came up with the obvious exclamation
And she came up with a ‘comforting’ explanation.
“What next?”, I enquired almost panicking
I didn’t have much winter clothing.
“60 Euros” was her reply,
“You must be kidding me” came out almost as a cry.
After some logical arguments she realized,
That I couldn’t get much with clothing highly priced.
200 Euros was what we settled for
To not turn into an icicle before returning to Singapore.
Dressed in pajamas, slippers and a t-shirt- I was a sight
Wading through the icy burst required some might.
Got myself a pair of jeans, shoes and a sweater
It did make me warm in that freezing weather.
And I couldn’t reach Vineet (who was flying in from London)
Didn’t know how and where to meet.
Vijay’s flight (from Barcelona) got cancelled, I found
My worst fears began to hound.
Called Vijay and got an update
A flash strike had happened, oh come on mate.
This wasn’t the perfect beginning, I thought
Was this a conspiracy or some kinda plot?
After roaming for some more time in sorrow
Spotted Vineet at a telephone booth, and we hugged as if there were no tomorrow.
AMSTERDAM (4th Dec)
It started snowing heavily, but our spirits didn’t sag
After all, we are not yet an old hag. :-)
Our first stop was the Anne Frank House
Sadness is the feeling this saga will arouse.
The story of a Jewish family in the Nazi days
As it lived through fear and haze.
Then we went to the famous Van Gogh
We gazed at his creations in awe.
He died young; his art knew no end.
With more than 900 paintings, he is a legend.
After some aimless wandering, we called it a day
This place would have been even more beautiful, if it had been May.
AMSTERDAM (5th Dec)
Got two pieces of good news the next morning,
My bag had arrived and Vijay was coming.
The weather improved as it was a nice beginning
The sun came out, warm and beaming.
Some Dutch cuisine for brunch was what we wanted
So, we found and went to this place but found it deserted.
To our utter dismay
Closed was the local market since it was Sunday.
We settled for an Italian lunch instead
Comprising of delectable lasagnea, salad and bread.
We then went on a ferry cruise
The city looked beautiful in the evening hues.
I was pleasantly surprised to see
How evolved the inland waterways were in the city.
As evening descended, we chose our next spot
It was the museum of sex and we had to stop.
It uncovered the world of sexual mystery
Surprisingly, it had a lot of history.
Sculptures, photos, and mannequins abound
We laughed at a few as we moved around.
It was unique in its own way
We came out more educated, I must say ;-)
Post dinner, we went to a place that sold pot
While in Sin City, we had to give it a shot.
We were novices and had never rolled a joint
But who cared, and that was the best point.
In the next one hour we puffed and laughed,
And disowned each other when we coughed.
It was time to venture deep
The red light district was worth taking a peep.
With men and women both thronging the place
Your wildest fantasies are set ablaze.
BERLIN (6th Dec)
While Amsterdam was relaxed and easy going
Berlin was certainly more fast moving.
The city had been the lynchpin
Of modern history and the times we are in.
The monuments (Reichstag, Holocaust-Denkmal, Brandenburger Tor) are indeed a sight
Some witnesses of the Nazi power, some of the Jew plight.
The Checkpoint Museum Charlie and the Berlin Wall remains
Tell the story of the cold war and its pains.
Later we went to the Sony Center,
It’s very modern with its swanky architecture.
In that freezing cold we were having a good time
The day had to be ended with some German wine.
So, for dinner, we found a place that offered German food
A cozy small house setting, it suited our mood.
BERLIN (7th Dec)
To experience world cultures at a single site
Pergamon museum was the obvious choice.
I found myself wanting in more ways than one
To appreciate what it offered, the experience was so wholesome.
We saw the beautiful Roman and Greek sculptures
And, peeked into Egyptian and Mesopotamian cultures.
There was little time and so much to see
Rushing through this museum would be a pity.
Paris (Evening of 7th Dec)
Paris was more a transit point than a destination
In our choc-o-block itinerary though, it had to find a mention.
As Vijay and I headed for Paris, Vineet left for London
He could not join us in the land of Moet and Chandon.
By the time we reached the hotel, it was ten thirty
We set out to check out the Eiffel Tower’s beauty.
It was drizzling and it was nippy
So what- we were determined and gritty.
I had never imagined that iron and steel
Could be so raw, so naked and yet so preen.
Every iota of effort was worth it
To see the towering structure glitteringly lit.
Paris (8th Dec)
We visited the famous Pantheon first
It’s a beauty to satiate your spiritual thirst.
Our next stop was The Louvre- an unparalleled artistic abode
Though, we weren’t there to solve the Da Vinci code. ;-)
The museum is huge
It experiences people’s deluge.
I had not seen such a huge art collection before
The audio guide came to our rescue as we assimilated some more.
We saw the biggest wall painting that had been made
The famous Mona Lisa was there, and a tribute we paid.
On a different note, I can’t help but mention
French women are worth all the attention.
Those lovely ladies, if they smilingly greet,
Your heart is bound to skip a beat.
A couple of hours flew by as it was time for us to leave
When we checked the ticket, I found that it was not from Orly but Beauvais.
How could I miss such an important detail?
I guess I was too excited or, my memory had gone frail.
Beauvais was way outside the city
Neither did we get a bus, nor a taxi.
Called Vineet to find out other options for a flight
There was one from Orly, later that night.
The city seemed to have come to a standstill,
And Paris was not all that exciting in that December chill.
After a long wait we found a cab- eventually
Our driver waded through the inching traffic skillfully.
I had seldom seen Vijay sweat and fret
Guess this was one such occasion, you bet.
Finally, we reached Paris Orly
Though, our happiness lasted only momentarily.
We soon found out that our new flight was canceled
And our hopes to reach Barcelona that day fizzled.
We got our tickets for next day’s evening flight
Could anyone have expected this plight?
We decided to put this episode behind us
But, there was no way to go to the city in a train, cab or bus.
Hotels near the airport were prohibitively expensive
And all we had was the airport to live.
Slept or, rather barely slept that night
The ordeal’s end seemed nowhere in sight.
Paris (9th Dec)
The next morning was sunny and bright
We had time for some more sightseeing as we had an evening flight.
Found a locker for our luggage and so we dumped
Last evening was over and we were pumped.
The Cathedral of Notre Dame, next to river Siene, was the first place we went
Though thronged by many, it was serene and quaint.
The department of justice was what was next
We did not know what to see there and soon we left. :-)
The Conciergerie was next in line
A palace and a prison, it had stood for a long time.
Our lunch at a French café was a delight
It was perfect to relax and enjoy the sunlight.
Not wanting to take a chance and so we started early
For our flight from Paris Orly.
Thanked God for no more surprises this time
Else, I surely would’ve blown the top of mine
By the time we reached Barcelona, we needed some rest,
Though, Vijay got busy with the preparation for his test.
Barcelona (10th Dec)
Barcelona weather was a respite from the icy cold
The city was more refreshing compared to what I was told.
While Vijay’s coursework kept him busy,
The land of Gaudi and Picasso waited for me.
Picasso museum was what I first visited
Times that he lived in, were what his paintings reflected.
The genius of the man stood tall,
From canvas to ceramic, he experimented it all.
Antoni Gaudi is unarguably the most famous Spanish architect
The Sagrada Familia is a testament to why he is the best.
Each carving in that church showed his finesse and precision
Revolutionary for his times were his ideas and vision.
The streets of Barcelona have a very different feel
People are warm, relaxed and genteel.
In the evening I visited Park Guell
It’s yet another Gaudi marvel.
Oldies, youngsters and children one can see
The beautiful ocean at a distance and the glittering city.
Barcelona (11th Dec)
The next morning I took the cable car to visit the famous Montjuic fort
A witness to changing times, as it oversaw the port.
It had canons all over and one could easily gauge
That it protected the city from the enemy’s rage.
I went for a stroll- in and around
It was serene and there was silence abound.
The woods in the vicinity had many birds
The silence only broken by their occasional chirps.
Not far from the fort was the Museum of Art
Didn’t enter- just sat outside and enjoyed as it turned dark.
Vijay was done with his assignments so he also stepped out
His spirits were high, in spite of lack of sleep, without any doubt.
The street of Les Rambles had a carnival like feel
One can spend an entire night there; it would be no big deal.
We tried out some Tapas which turned out to be mouth-watering
It marked the perfect beginning to the evening.
While in Barcelona, I could not have missed the Flamenco
The performance was mesmerizing as it gained some tempo.
Everyone in the room had their eyes glued
As the artists’ hands clapped and their feet moved.
Freak out was the mantra that night, any excuse would have been lame,
If we had given in to our tiredness and slept, it would have been a shame.
The idea was not to be in a state of inebriety
But we had to go to Espit Chupitos for its shots and their variety (580 in number).
Each shot was unique- flaming or non-flaming
We started discussing business ideas (ha ha) as we started consuming.
I guess we had 4 each, honestly I lost count.
Each shot was fun; the bartender’s skills were paramount.
There was a slight buzz as we stepped out
The night was still young; there was a lot of crowd.
Without a discotheque, the experience would have been incomplete,
It was our last stop that evening and fun had been replete.
Return to Singapore (12th Dec)
I pined for more as I hadn’t experienced anything like this before
But, it was time for me to return to Singapore.
It felt like a hurricane dream where we experienced so much
I promised I’d visit Europe soon, its beauty was such.
Glad you made it to the end of this Mohithon
I guess I could have just gone on and on and on. :-)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Movies, Games, Society and Sex
Our movies are a good reflection of the society that we live in and vice versa. While Hollywood has been more forthcoming in the portraying of taboos and vices, Bollywood, though a late starter, has caught on well. The usual “You dog” or “You Scoundrel” has been replaced by “Mother Fucker” or “Son of a Bitch”. Till the late 80s, Bollywood movies showed two flowers swaying together or two birds playing with their beaks to portray love making with the final act being represented by the fire going out. The 90s and the twenty first century have been bolder in shooting steamy scenes. A smooch earlier used to be the talk of the town. It has now become so omnipresent. Sex on the silver screen is no longer a result of an untimely rainfall. And this does not come as a surprise…because Pulp Fiction sells.:-)
However, there has been a tectonic shift in the after effect of love making in the Bollywood movies of yester years and the Bollywood movies of today. Initially, any act of love making used to result invariably in the heroine conceiving. Incredible, isn’t it? On the contrary, how often do you hear about children being born out of wedlock or the actress conceiving? One of the reasons could be the fall in fertility rates among men and women (mind you that includes our alpha males and females portrayed in the movies too) alike owing to lifestyle changes and environmental issues. The other and equally important reason could be the warming up of our heroes and heroines to contraceptive measures. And I am happy about the latter. And I would be even happier if these things are discussed in more movies.
So much has been written and said about the Commonwealth Games (CWG). So, I will not write anything more. Other than India doing well in the games, there is one more thing that particularly caught my eye. Many toilets at the games village got clogged owing to condoms being disposed through these toilets in large numbers. This piece was written in continuation with the ‘difficult’ living conditions at the village. What some of the columnists ignored was that these toilets would have gotten blocked anywhere in the world, forget India. Now educating these international athletes on what’s biodegradable and what’s not is a different subject altogether. What’s important here is the use of condoms, which I am happy about.
Discussing social values may not be helpful here. I’d say “to each his own”. The number 6 billion, the world’s population, could be a mere piece of statistic for some. What’s important is that we would not have reached this number if we had been more judicious in our use of contraceptive measures. While I cheer for India and for a successful closure of the CWG, I will also cheer for those athletes who used those condoms. I am sure the world can do without some more unwanted babies. And I would be happy to see more Bollywood movies touching upon the issue of safe sex and I would be even happier to learn that someday the CWG athletes learned to be more careful while disposing off their used condoms. ;-)
However, there has been a tectonic shift in the after effect of love making in the Bollywood movies of yester years and the Bollywood movies of today. Initially, any act of love making used to result invariably in the heroine conceiving. Incredible, isn’t it? On the contrary, how often do you hear about children being born out of wedlock or the actress conceiving? One of the reasons could be the fall in fertility rates among men and women (mind you that includes our alpha males and females portrayed in the movies too) alike owing to lifestyle changes and environmental issues. The other and equally important reason could be the warming up of our heroes and heroines to contraceptive measures. And I am happy about the latter. And I would be even happier if these things are discussed in more movies.
So much has been written and said about the Commonwealth Games (CWG). So, I will not write anything more. Other than India doing well in the games, there is one more thing that particularly caught my eye. Many toilets at the games village got clogged owing to condoms being disposed through these toilets in large numbers. This piece was written in continuation with the ‘difficult’ living conditions at the village. What some of the columnists ignored was that these toilets would have gotten blocked anywhere in the world, forget India. Now educating these international athletes on what’s biodegradable and what’s not is a different subject altogether. What’s important here is the use of condoms, which I am happy about.
Discussing social values may not be helpful here. I’d say “to each his own”. The number 6 billion, the world’s population, could be a mere piece of statistic for some. What’s important is that we would not have reached this number if we had been more judicious in our use of contraceptive measures. While I cheer for India and for a successful closure of the CWG, I will also cheer for those athletes who used those condoms. I am sure the world can do without some more unwanted babies. And I would be happy to see more Bollywood movies touching upon the issue of safe sex and I would be even happier to learn that someday the CWG athletes learned to be more careful while disposing off their used condoms. ;-)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I want...
Curious to know what’s cooking in the pot,
This is just the hint of the Mohit-O shot!
It’s funny to think the way I think,
But, what the heck and then I wink.
I wish I could go back to school ,
And be naughty and carefree and play it cool.
I wanna drive a Ferrari and a Lamborghini,
And then I wonder where I would get the money.
I wanna go sailing on a yacht,
In the Mediterranean is what I’ve thought.
I wanna sky dive and drift freely,
I wanna do a bike wheelie.
I wanna explore the African wilderness,
The frigid Siberia and the Amazon forests.
I wanna go flying in a hot air balloon,
With the twinkling stars and a full moon.
I wanna relax on a hammock, under a tree
And enjoy the cool breeze blowing from the sea.
I wanna steal a rock of the Parthenon
I sure could be crazy, but am not a con.
I wanna feature on the cover of the Time
And then I’d wonder if that photo were mine.
I wanna jive to music that is live,
And I wanna learn, ’coz Latin dances are fun.
I wanna be wicked and I wanna grin,
And I wanna do a Calvin.
You friends are gems and I wanna thank,
Without you, o boy, my life would be blank.
And my loving family that makes me sail
Through thick and thin, else I’d fail.
It’s not the money if that’s what you think
Though, I wouldn’t mind some-wink wink wink.
I wanna live with hope, I wanna die in peace
I wanna drift in my dreams, where I’m at ease.
It is easier to dream than to see it get done
But, who knows; I could be the chosen one.
This ain’t no bucket list, if that’s what you thought
’Coz I keep wondering as to next is what.
This is just the hint of the Mohit-O shot!
It’s funny to think the way I think,
But, what the heck and then I wink.
I wish I could go back to school ,
And be naughty and carefree and play it cool.
I wanna drive a Ferrari and a Lamborghini,
And then I wonder where I would get the money.
I wanna go sailing on a yacht,
In the Mediterranean is what I’ve thought.
I wanna sky dive and drift freely,
I wanna do a bike wheelie.
I wanna explore the African wilderness,
The frigid Siberia and the Amazon forests.
I wanna go flying in a hot air balloon,
With the twinkling stars and a full moon.
I wanna relax on a hammock, under a tree
And enjoy the cool breeze blowing from the sea.
I wanna steal a rock of the Parthenon
I sure could be crazy, but am not a con.
I wanna feature on the cover of the Time
And then I’d wonder if that photo were mine.
I wanna jive to music that is live,
And I wanna learn, ’coz Latin dances are fun.
I wanna be wicked and I wanna grin,
And I wanna do a Calvin.
You friends are gems and I wanna thank,
Without you, o boy, my life would be blank.
And my loving family that makes me sail
Through thick and thin, else I’d fail.
It’s not the money if that’s what you think
Though, I wouldn’t mind some-wink wink wink.
I wanna live with hope, I wanna die in peace
I wanna drift in my dreams, where I’m at ease.
It is easier to dream than to see it get done
But, who knows; I could be the chosen one.
This ain’t no bucket list, if that’s what you thought
’Coz I keep wondering as to next is what.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
All is certainly not well!
A couple of weeks ago, before moving to Singapore, a friend invited me over for lunch. It was during this time when some parts of Hyderabad were experiencing communal tension. Just to refresh your memory, it was the same time when Sania Mirza’s marriage was ‘breaking news’ on all the TV Channels. And considering that communal violence is commonplace in India, this bit was not all that ‘breaking’ for the news channels.
Post lunch, my friend dropped me at a place from where I took an auto for my journey back home. Call it destiny or something else; I got into an auto whose driver stayed in the old city-the part of the city which was impacted by the turbulence the most. He looked visibly disturbed. I happened to ask him the reason. I guess he wanted to vent out his frustration and helplessness to someone.
Incidentally, that someone was me. I hail from an infamous place-Ayodhya. Hence, I am not new to words like curfew and communal tension. But, in 1992 I was in class IVth. As a kid, all I cared about was that our schools used to shut down, quite often indefinitely, and we used to have a gala time at home. The reality that had not hit me then, hit me 18 years later.
The auto-driver told me that he could manage to take out his auto after 4 days when the police relaxed the curfew for a few hours. He and his family were surviving on his paltry savings for the initial two days and for the last two days his neighbours were helping him by offering some leftover food. But as the curfew intensified, even his neighbours started feeling the pinch. But for his children, he could have managed without food for some more days was what he said. He told me that he was happy to earn some money but on his way back he got delayed and missed the curfew deadline by 10 minutes. He was not allowed to go to his place. Even though he had toiled hard, he wasn’t sure if he could reach his family. Agony and frustration were rife in his voice.
We are all selfish and I think that is the core of human existence. That makes politicians and therefore the politics they practice selfish too. But, when our selfishness transcends all boundaries and everything boils down to vote bank politics, it takes draconian proportions and gets manifested in acts of communal violence, pro and anti reservation protests and not to miss our (in)famous ‘rail roko’ (stopping trains) or ‘chakka jam’ (road blockades) revolutions. It is neither you, who is reading this, nor me, who is writing this suffers. It is people like these auto drivers and their families who suffer. Till date, I have failed to understand how a ‘Hyderabad bandh’ will help the common man and make him want Telengana more. I have failed to understand how burning of trains, buses and other public property can bolster a cause when it is hampering the cause of the common man.
These were exactly the thoughts that crossed my mind while I was listening to him. These thoughts made me cringe then, they make me pensive now and I guess they will just lie in one remote corner of my mind after some time.
At the end of the trip, I tipped the guy 50 rupees. I do not support socialism and this act of mine should not be construed as one that supports it either. I wanted him to have hope because I guess he needed every bit of it that day. And I guess I did that sub-consciously, because I wanted to get over the guilt of being helpless in those circumstances.
Did someone say ,“All is well”?
Post lunch, my friend dropped me at a place from where I took an auto for my journey back home. Call it destiny or something else; I got into an auto whose driver stayed in the old city-the part of the city which was impacted by the turbulence the most. He looked visibly disturbed. I happened to ask him the reason. I guess he wanted to vent out his frustration and helplessness to someone.
Incidentally, that someone was me. I hail from an infamous place-Ayodhya. Hence, I am not new to words like curfew and communal tension. But, in 1992 I was in class IVth. As a kid, all I cared about was that our schools used to shut down, quite often indefinitely, and we used to have a gala time at home. The reality that had not hit me then, hit me 18 years later.
The auto-driver told me that he could manage to take out his auto after 4 days when the police relaxed the curfew for a few hours. He and his family were surviving on his paltry savings for the initial two days and for the last two days his neighbours were helping him by offering some leftover food. But as the curfew intensified, even his neighbours started feeling the pinch. But for his children, he could have managed without food for some more days was what he said. He told me that he was happy to earn some money but on his way back he got delayed and missed the curfew deadline by 10 minutes. He was not allowed to go to his place. Even though he had toiled hard, he wasn’t sure if he could reach his family. Agony and frustration were rife in his voice.
We are all selfish and I think that is the core of human existence. That makes politicians and therefore the politics they practice selfish too. But, when our selfishness transcends all boundaries and everything boils down to vote bank politics, it takes draconian proportions and gets manifested in acts of communal violence, pro and anti reservation protests and not to miss our (in)famous ‘rail roko’ (stopping trains) or ‘chakka jam’ (road blockades) revolutions. It is neither you, who is reading this, nor me, who is writing this suffers. It is people like these auto drivers and their families who suffer. Till date, I have failed to understand how a ‘Hyderabad bandh’ will help the common man and make him want Telengana more. I have failed to understand how burning of trains, buses and other public property can bolster a cause when it is hampering the cause of the common man.
These were exactly the thoughts that crossed my mind while I was listening to him. These thoughts made me cringe then, they make me pensive now and I guess they will just lie in one remote corner of my mind after some time.
At the end of the trip, I tipped the guy 50 rupees. I do not support socialism and this act of mine should not be construed as one that supports it either. I wanted him to have hope because I guess he needed every bit of it that day. And I guess I did that sub-consciously, because I wanted to get over the guilt of being helpless in those circumstances.
Did someone say ,“All is well”?
Monday, March 15, 2010
Anything for Women Empowerment
There are few temptations that are irresistible. Since the entire country seems to be talking about women’s reservation bill, I couldn’t resist adding my 2 cents. First things first, let me say that I am happy that the women’s reservation bill got passed in the Rajya Sabha. There is a buzz everywhere and all the ‘breaking news’ on all the TV channels was that history was created. Though, I am not sure if that’s going to change things on the ground.
Probably I am naïve. Or, I could be a cynic. According to me the hullabaloo is not only premature; it is a result of ignorance. The reservation for women exists at the village level for more than 15 years now. However, I have not seen anything change significantly. Or, probably we all believe in incremental change or live with the hope that ‘the day is not far when…’. I still hear honour killings happening in parts of Haryana and Punjab. Eve teasing and rapes are endemic. What I fail to understand is how 200 women MPs can change the fate of half a billion people and make them empowered. And I fail to understand what is it that women chief ministers have done differently or significantly for the upliftment of women. And I, therefore, fail to see the causality between having more women in legislature and women upliftment.
Someone said-“Precaution is better than cure.” 62 years after independence, we have still not been able to think of preventive measures. What is most unfortunate is that there is still no uniform civil code. And the only way, it seems, that the politicians of this country can bring about reform in the civil society is through corrective measures like reservation.
Introducing corrective measures is still justified if the benefits pass on to the needy. I guess the governments over the years got tired of experimenting with the bottoms-up approach. Hence, this time they decided to follow the top-down approach. And now, I’m sure we’ll have a few more Mayawatis and Jayalalithas and Rabris and we’ll have a few more statues and parks built or someone else may hold the world record for owning the maximum number of slippers or someone may not only ruin the law and order of an entire state but the entire country. And who knows if we are unlucky and someone is really lucky, we may have all three ‘empowered scenarios’ being achieved by one person.
Anything for women empowerment…;-)
Probably I am naïve. Or, I could be a cynic. According to me the hullabaloo is not only premature; it is a result of ignorance. The reservation for women exists at the village level for more than 15 years now. However, I have not seen anything change significantly. Or, probably we all believe in incremental change or live with the hope that ‘the day is not far when…’. I still hear honour killings happening in parts of Haryana and Punjab. Eve teasing and rapes are endemic. What I fail to understand is how 200 women MPs can change the fate of half a billion people and make them empowered. And I fail to understand what is it that women chief ministers have done differently or significantly for the upliftment of women. And I, therefore, fail to see the causality between having more women in legislature and women upliftment.
Someone said-“Precaution is better than cure.” 62 years after independence, we have still not been able to think of preventive measures. What is most unfortunate is that there is still no uniform civil code. And the only way, it seems, that the politicians of this country can bring about reform in the civil society is through corrective measures like reservation.
Introducing corrective measures is still justified if the benefits pass on to the needy. I guess the governments over the years got tired of experimenting with the bottoms-up approach. Hence, this time they decided to follow the top-down approach. And now, I’m sure we’ll have a few more Mayawatis and Jayalalithas and Rabris and we’ll have a few more statues and parks built or someone else may hold the world record for owning the maximum number of slippers or someone may not only ruin the law and order of an entire state but the entire country. And who knows if we are unlucky and someone is really lucky, we may have all three ‘empowered scenarios’ being achieved by one person.
Anything for women empowerment…;-)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Rickshaw, the road side chai, the roasted peanuts and the cool breeze…
Some people have been saying, off-late, that I am becoming very philosophical these days. I guess ‘becoming philosophical’ is the most abused word in social parlance. I wonder why people say so. According to me, our existence will come to an end if we stop being philosophical. Being philosophical is nothing but a way of life. Phew! That was heavy.
Let me continue with this ‘way of life’.
The only thing that is constant is change. I think I was averse to change for quite some time. I guess it was sheer inertia, or, probably the lack of certain experiences that made me the way I am. I strongly feel that you cannot change your inherent nature. However, there can be a few tweaks to that inherent nature that can go a long way. And that is what I have been experiencing in the last 6 months or so. You, generally, need an incident or it may take more than one for you to realize that you have changed. I think everyone will agree with me that fog is a symbol of uncertainty. Well, not always. The fogginess of Jan 2010 helped me rediscover myself. Or, maybe, there is more to come.
I had to make a hurricane trip to my home town, Faizabad. It is a small district in South East Uttar Pradesh. My ideal itinerary has been a flight to Delhi followed by an overnight train journey to Faizabad. This time my flight to Delhi was delayed. CAT III or no CAT III, the compliance needed for flights to fly during low visibility conditions, all the airlines were impacted. Cutting the long story short, I reached Delhi at 6 PM, instead of the scheduled 3:10 PM. And I had my connecting train at 7:20 PM. Someone who is aware of Delhi traffic would have guessd by now that by no stretch of imagination I would have been able to catch the train from the (in) famous Old Delhi Railway Station in one hour and twenty minutes. And if it sometime close to Jan 26th when most of the roads are blocked for routine rehearsals or for some ‘standard’ security reasons, then the odds become all the more. My cab driver suggested that instead of going to Old Delhi Railway I should try and take a Metro from Dwarka. I agreed. I did not have too many choices either. The first change was this. I have started accepting things, at least some of them, that are beyond my control-unlike old times when I would have cribbed and swore incessantly.
There is nothing worse than slow death- when you know that you are running against time and you know that you are not gonna win.. It would have been better if my flight had landed after 7. I would have checked my watch a hundred times in that 60 minutes run from Dwarka to Chandni Chowk. And then you hope against hope that a miracle will save you. But then I think I mentioned in my previous blogs that Murphy is my second name ;-)
I called a close friend of mine, Neeraj, so that he could check if the train had left. It was already 20 mins past the departure time. Neeraj told me that the train was cancelled. It did not come as a surprise. Or, I guess the realist was taking over the optimist in me. But hold on-not yet. Looking back, I think I was lucky to even reach Delhi under the prevailing circumstances. Neeraj checked online and told me that there were flight tickets available to Lucknow for the next day.
Here comes the part that I found most pleasing and under the circumstances most surprising too. Neeraj stays in Rohini and there is no direct Metro connection from Chandni Chowk. I had to go Kashmiri Gate to take the train. And that meant that I had to take a rickshaw or an auto to Kashmiri gate. It was a bit cold. So, before leaving Chandni Chowk, I decided to have a cup of road side ‘chai’ (tea). There is something about these road side ‘delicacies’ that continues to remain unparalleled. I am not a tea/ coffee addict. So, these rare caffeine moments are truly relished by me.
I decided to go for a rickshaw. And I am glad that I did that. It’s fun to ride a rickshaw once in a while. I had not had roasted peanuts in sometime. So, I decided to take some peanuts before getting on to the rickshaw. The manual labour aside, it was a fun ride. There was a nip in the air. I was savoring the peanuts. I wasn’t sure where to dispose off the peelings. The immediate second thought was “What the fuck”. And Delhi roads became a bit dirtier that they already were. I know I am writing at the cost of drawing wrath from some of my closest friends. But, I guess it’s good to be savage at times.
You will definitely invite looks from the bystanders if you are even slightly out of place. I guess wearing a nice blazer and sitting on a rickshaw do not go hand in hand. And this was made every evident by almost everyone who saw me. The reason of those looks could be something else also-but I seriously doubt that. Again, being oblivious to such things is the mantra. We end up brooding about what the society will think…the list is endless. I think nobody gives a hoot and I think we should not give a damn either.
A simple road side chai on a cold winter morning, or the road side chaat in the evening, or an occasional beer with a close friend, or a long drive on a breezy evening, or reading a book over a cup of coffee, or the occasional rants of an idle mind in the blog, or the dhan-te-nan in a pub can make so much of a difference to our mundane lives.
I guess we look for that big happiness in life and in the process tend to miss out on those small pleasures. What we forget is that the total is the sum of its parts.
Let me continue with this ‘way of life’.
The only thing that is constant is change. I think I was averse to change for quite some time. I guess it was sheer inertia, or, probably the lack of certain experiences that made me the way I am. I strongly feel that you cannot change your inherent nature. However, there can be a few tweaks to that inherent nature that can go a long way. And that is what I have been experiencing in the last 6 months or so. You, generally, need an incident or it may take more than one for you to realize that you have changed. I think everyone will agree with me that fog is a symbol of uncertainty. Well, not always. The fogginess of Jan 2010 helped me rediscover myself. Or, maybe, there is more to come.
I had to make a hurricane trip to my home town, Faizabad. It is a small district in South East Uttar Pradesh. My ideal itinerary has been a flight to Delhi followed by an overnight train journey to Faizabad. This time my flight to Delhi was delayed. CAT III or no CAT III, the compliance needed for flights to fly during low visibility conditions, all the airlines were impacted. Cutting the long story short, I reached Delhi at 6 PM, instead of the scheduled 3:10 PM. And I had my connecting train at 7:20 PM. Someone who is aware of Delhi traffic would have guessd by now that by no stretch of imagination I would have been able to catch the train from the (in) famous Old Delhi Railway Station in one hour and twenty minutes. And if it sometime close to Jan 26th when most of the roads are blocked for routine rehearsals or for some ‘standard’ security reasons, then the odds become all the more. My cab driver suggested that instead of going to Old Delhi Railway I should try and take a Metro from Dwarka. I agreed. I did not have too many choices either. The first change was this. I have started accepting things, at least some of them, that are beyond my control-unlike old times when I would have cribbed and swore incessantly.
There is nothing worse than slow death- when you know that you are running against time and you know that you are not gonna win.. It would have been better if my flight had landed after 7. I would have checked my watch a hundred times in that 60 minutes run from Dwarka to Chandni Chowk. And then you hope against hope that a miracle will save you. But then I think I mentioned in my previous blogs that Murphy is my second name ;-)
I called a close friend of mine, Neeraj, so that he could check if the train had left. It was already 20 mins past the departure time. Neeraj told me that the train was cancelled. It did not come as a surprise. Or, I guess the realist was taking over the optimist in me. But hold on-not yet. Looking back, I think I was lucky to even reach Delhi under the prevailing circumstances. Neeraj checked online and told me that there were flight tickets available to Lucknow for the next day.
Here comes the part that I found most pleasing and under the circumstances most surprising too. Neeraj stays in Rohini and there is no direct Metro connection from Chandni Chowk. I had to go Kashmiri Gate to take the train. And that meant that I had to take a rickshaw or an auto to Kashmiri gate. It was a bit cold. So, before leaving Chandni Chowk, I decided to have a cup of road side ‘chai’ (tea). There is something about these road side ‘delicacies’ that continues to remain unparalleled. I am not a tea/ coffee addict. So, these rare caffeine moments are truly relished by me.
I decided to go for a rickshaw. And I am glad that I did that. It’s fun to ride a rickshaw once in a while. I had not had roasted peanuts in sometime. So, I decided to take some peanuts before getting on to the rickshaw. The manual labour aside, it was a fun ride. There was a nip in the air. I was savoring the peanuts. I wasn’t sure where to dispose off the peelings. The immediate second thought was “What the fuck”. And Delhi roads became a bit dirtier that they already were. I know I am writing at the cost of drawing wrath from some of my closest friends. But, I guess it’s good to be savage at times.
You will definitely invite looks from the bystanders if you are even slightly out of place. I guess wearing a nice blazer and sitting on a rickshaw do not go hand in hand. And this was made every evident by almost everyone who saw me. The reason of those looks could be something else also-but I seriously doubt that. Again, being oblivious to such things is the mantra. We end up brooding about what the society will think…the list is endless. I think nobody gives a hoot and I think we should not give a damn either.
A simple road side chai on a cold winter morning, or the road side chaat in the evening, or an occasional beer with a close friend, or a long drive on a breezy evening, or reading a book over a cup of coffee, or the occasional rants of an idle mind in the blog, or the dhan-te-nan in a pub can make so much of a difference to our mundane lives.
I guess we look for that big happiness in life and in the process tend to miss out on those small pleasures. What we forget is that the total is the sum of its parts.
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